Update on Life

Hey everyone!

I know it's been a while since I've posted on here, and I apologize for that, but things have been really crazy lately (I won't bore you with all the details).

I dropped out of university back in November and moved back home with my parents, and decided that  was going to go to college for business management in September and am hoping I can get my life somewhat together before then.

Diabetes-wise, things haven't been going too well to be completely honest. My eating habits are all out of whack, making my sugars all over the place as well. I know I shouldn't make excuses for my poor diabetes-management, but I strongly feel that my emotional/mental instability at the moment is a contributing factor (as is just about anything else in term of blood sugar levels haha!) to all of this.

Anyways, I'm also searching for a job so that I can start looking for an apartment for myself and then *finally* move-out on my own and possibly get my life started. I feel like once I do that, I can have a better control over my health, and my life in general.

Well, now that I have *all* this free time, I'll be able to post more often. (Also, if someone has suggestions as to what kind of posts you'd like to see on here, please let me know!) I already a few posts planned, so that's a start.

That's all I have to say for now, so until next time!

-Serena <3

I Got a New Pump!

Hey guys!

So as you may know (or not; you may not have seen the post that I mentioned this in, so), my pump screen as well as my meter screen weren't working right (they were fading out all the time and I could barely see the screens in a well-lit room or outside), so I finally got over my anxiety and called Animas Tech Support to get a replacement pump. And I can honestly say there is a huge improvement compared to my old one.

The biggest difference as far as I can see if definitely the screens. I can actually see them now!

The first one is the new one, and the other is my old one. Both set with the exact same settings.

The one on the left is the old one, the one on the right is the new one. Both with the exact same settings.

Other than that, my new pump is exactly identical to my old one. Animas was very quick to have it delivered to me (took two days I think), and included return envelopes to send the old pump and meter back to them. So far, I haven't encountered any real issues with the pump, and it's looking good for now. 

I know, this post is pretty short, but I really don't have much else to say about it, so until next time guys! 

- Serena <3 

One Touch Ping pump by Animas Review

Hey everyone!

So, today I decided that I wanted to give my opinion on my insulin pump; the One Touch Ping by Animas.

I've had this pump for three years now; it's the first pump I ever had. My pump is black, and I use the corresponding glucose meter as well. So in this review, I will be touching on the pros and cons of the pump and meter themselves, customer service from Animas, and my overall opinion/final review of the machine.

Pros: 
- Waterproof
I'm not 100% sure about other pumps, but I know for sure that Animas's pumps are completely waterproof. That's an awesome feature to have especially in the summer time for beaches or pools. I haven't actually gotten it wet in the last three years since having it, but it's a relief to know that if I go to the beach, I can leave my pump on.

- The connection between the pump and the meter
I love that I can use my glucose meter to control my pump instead of always having to punch everything in on the pump itself. It's really great for when I'm wearing a dress or a skirt or if I just have the pump hidden away somewhere.

- The fact that it isn't a *pen* needle
Okay, this one applies to pretty much every pump on the market; the site change every 2-3 days (depending on your sites) VS the injections 4 times a day. That's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Cons *These issues only apply to my old pump, because I did get it replaced at the end (I will be writing a post about that later), but I still feel the need to bring these up because I'm still not sure what caused these issues to begin with.* :
- The screens suck
If you plan on being outside 75% of the time, I really don't recommend this pump; you can't see the screen properly while in any well-lit area (like outside or in a well-lit room for example). No matter if you change the battery or modify the brightness settings, you just can't see a thing (and let's face it, that's pretty dangerous).

- Insulin delivery
This one kind of ties in with the screen issue, but I've noticed that while the pump is delivering insulin (especially larger amounts), the screen tends to fade (almost like it's going into 'sleep' mode or something) which, in my opinion, is a bit concerning because I use the glucose meter a lot to control my pump and then I end up uncertain if my full dose has been delivered or not, and when I press a button on the meter, if it wasn't done, it cancels the delivery.

- Diasend
Alright, so with this pump, you upload the data from the pump onto your computer with Diasend. I know I've personally had some trouble detecting my pump, and there have been times where I've had to try to upload the data several times due to it not working. I'm not sure how it works with other pumps, or what software they use, but I do know this one can be a pain in the neck sometimes.

Customer Service
So, for this part of my review, I will discuss how they handle customer service in terms of both ordering supplies and tech support. Let's start with ordering supplies. Now, I've never been the one to actually call to order the supplies (it's always been my mom who did that), but I know for a fact that they are typically very good at what they do and they usually have it shipped out and at your door in a few days. Now, as far as tech support, I have to say they are amazing. They are open 24/7 (literally, I called them at like 4:30 am once!) and they are amazing. They ask you follow-up questions after you explain to them what the problem is and they are very knowledgeable about their products (obviously).
Also, as you'll hear all about in my next post, I actually had to get my pump replaced, and they did it very quickly and efficiently! Both my new pump and meter were sent to me two days after I called them. They even include envelopes so you can send the old pump and meter back to them.

Overall Opinion and Final Thoughts on the Product
Personally, I find this pump okay, but far from amazing. I'm not a huge fan of it personally, and I do plan on changing it in a couple years once I'm able to. (probably going to switch to the Omnipod actually.), Although it does the job at the end of the day; I just don't feel like this pump suits me very well, and that's all there is to it.

So that's all for now. Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion, and you can take it any way you want to. Also, I'm not being paid by Animas to review this pump nor was I given this pump for free to review, I just wanted to voice my opinion on it and share it with you all. Until next time!

- Serena <3

Roommate Problems! *RANT!*

Hey everyone!

So, I know I haven't been posting lately, and I promise I will post an update eventually, but this is something I really need to talk about.

Some of you may know (I think I mentioned it), I started university in September and am living in residence on campus. I live in a double room and have a roommate (oh, boy...). Now, at 3:00 this morning, I woke up feeling weak and shaking, so I did the smart thing and grabbed my glucose meter and checked my sugar.

I wasn't able to get a reading the first time because my hands were shacking too much and I didn't get enough blood on the strip, so I had to try again. When I got my reading, my sugar was at 2.1, and I did what any responsible diabetic would do; I got some sugar into my system ASAP! I took 4 Dex4 glucose tablets, a juice box and a fruit roll-up to bring them up. Now, as I'm doing all this stuff to make sure I don't die, my roommate decided that it would be a brilliant idea to flash her phone's flashlight right into my eyes. After that, she grumbled under her breath and turn in her bed to face the wall.

I did mention to her that I was a type 1 diabetic before she moved in with me, so she knew what she was getting into. (actually, I'm like 90% sure she doesn't actually understand what diabetes is even though I did briefly explain it to her...)

Personally, I feel very attacked by her behavior. I mean, it's not my fault that my sugar was low at 3:00 am, and it's not like I asked for any of this. She makes it look like it's my fault and I'm waking her up in the middle of the night on purpose (whereas in reality she's the one keeping me up all night on weeknights, but that's another story...). I feel as if she is very immature and a bit self-centered and I don't even think she realizes I could have died this morning had I not woken up.

Also, she claims that my pump is waking her up at night, but my pump is set on vibrate and literally no one has ever claimed to hear it when it goes off, so I'm just wondering how on earth is she hearing it? Besides, it's quite rare that my pump even goes off at night anyway, and it isn't my fault that I don't hear it when I'm sleeping.

Anyway, so that's it for tonight, like I said before, I will try to start posting more often again, but I can't make any promises (university life, you know?!). So until next time!

- Serena <3

App review: mySugr Diabetes Diary!

Hey guys!

So, today I want to talk about this really cool app I have that I feel actually helps me manage my diabetes better and also helps me see how well/ how badly I'm managing my diabetes.

The app is called mySugr Diabetes Diary and it's basically a diabetes log book! The app is available on the App Store as well as on Google Play for android.

For me, this app is great because I always have my phone with me, so it's really easy for me to open it and punch in my sugars and how many carbs I ate at mealtime and how much insulin I'm giving myself.

The way this app works is you have a monster-- a 'diabetes' monster, and everyday you need to tame it, and the way to tame it is by logging! 

So, when you open the app, this screen appears. This is your 'logbook'. This is where all your blood sugars go once you recorded them in the app. (Notice mine's empty right now because I haven't touch this app since May...whoops!) 

When you open the menu, you'll see your profile picture on top as well as your name and your monster's name. Below that, you have your logbook. You'll also find a tab called 'challenges' that gives you a variety of challenges to get rewards including a trial of mySugr Pro.

You can customize your profile by either tapping on your profile picture or on the 'Profile & Settings' tab. From there, you'll find your 'diabetes monster's name, the email address you used to create your account, your name (duh!), your gender and birthdate. If you scroll down a bit, you can customize the app to fit your personal needs by indicating which type of diabetes you have, the year you were diagnosed, what kind of insulin therapy you use (injections or pump), your blood glucose unit (mine's mmol/L), and how you measure your carbs! You can also indicate which type of insulin you use (and pills as well!), and your target sugar ranges. Another cool thing you can specify is which pump and meter you have (in my case, the One Touch Ping from Animas).

In the logbook, you have a ton of cool stuff you can add to your logs!
You can type in your blood glucose, the carbs you ate, how much insulin you took, and a ton of other stuff. You can also label your logs based on what's happening. For example, you can label a log:

• Breakfast 
• Lunch
• Correction
• Fasting
• Snack
• Dinner
• Hypo feeling
• Hyper feeling
• Office work
• Sports
• Before Sports
• After Sports
• Bedtime
• At night
• Before meal 
• After meal 
• Site change
• Happy 
• Stress
• Angry 
• Needle change
• Tired
• Chilling
• Excited 
• Sad
• Housework 
• Manual work
• Party
• Nervous
• Shift work
• Work
• Bingeing
• Alcohol
• Travelling
• Vacation
• Eating out
• Hung over
• Driving
• On the way 
• Shopping 
• Carbs guess
• Sick
• Allergies
• Foot on the floor 
• Special situation
• Pain
• Headache
• Menstruation 

Though, not all of them are available in the free one, most of them are only available in the pro version (I'm pretty sure everything listed after 'At Night' requires Pro, but I'm not 100% sure).

Every week, the app will send you a report of that week's logs (it's usually on Sunday evenings I've noticed that I'll get an email from mySugr giving me a progress report on my sugars) 

Overall, this is a fantastic app and if you're as forgetful as I am, this will definitely come in handy! If you ask me, the whole 'diabetes monster' concept is amazing and my inner-child loves it! I find that symbolically speaking, the monster is a great way to make you think "I got this; I'll tame this monster!", because let's face it, everyone who lives with Type 1 Diabetes has thought about the disease as a 'monster' at one time or another. So, for me it's a great way to kind of make logging fun! (my inner-child loves this app!)

So that's all I have to say for now, hope this was helpful to someone. And with that, until next time!

- Serena <3

**DISCLAIMER: I am not being paid/endorsed by mySugr to do this review, nor was I given a Pro subscription by them to do this review. I found this app on my own and decided to use it. This is just my personal opinion.**

Diabetes and Depression

**WARNING: This post is about depression. If you are depressed, or are thinking of suicide, YOU ARE NOT ALONE and there are plenty of resources available to you. If you need someone to talk to, I am available and will be leaving my contact info at the bottom of this post. Also, I should mention that I will be sharing parts of my experiences with depression in hopes that if anyone is feeling the same way I have, maybe this can't help them cope as well.

Also, this is going to be a long post!**

Ever since I was 13 years old, I've dealt with depression. It's been an on and off struggle for the past 5 or so years, but somehow I managed to make it up to here.

Statistically speaking, people with diabetes are 50% more likely to suffer from depression than people without diabetes. (This statistic came from a pin on Pinterest that I can't find the source to)

Also, symptoms of depression affect 30% of people with diabetes, while 10% of them experience major depression.
(These stats came from here)

Not so much when I was 13, but more so in the last few years (so for the last 3 years approximately speaking) I've noticed some patterns in my lapses:

• When my sugars are high, I'm more likely to feel depressed and upset
• For the past year and a half, my pump sites were triggering my depression as well 
• Anytime something to do with my diabetes comes up that just doesn't work out, I'll get extremely depressed (the last time this happened was earlier this week when I needed to go get some blood test and they were unable to do it) 

Just to explain a bit for the pump sites. I started using the pump roughly 3 years ago (back in March 2014) and at first, I was placing the sites on my own, but then all of a sudden I couldn't do it anymore so my mom had to start placing them. That went on for about 2 years before the pediatric nurse who follows me suggested for me to place them manually with

These were the sites I used to use (Inset II 6mm with 60cm tubing)

out the applicator. (Just to clarify, I have the One Touch Ping pump from Animas)

Well, placing them manually actually caused more issues because they wouldn't actually go into me, thus causing my sugars to sky rocket almost all the time, thus making me even more depressed and discouraged. Some nights, it got so bad that I actually considered not bothering to change the site, but when it got to that point, I'd make sure to talk to my close friend whom I am extremely comfortable talking to about virtually everything. (Seriously, I don't know how she does it, and I hope she knows how much I truly appreciate her being there for me like this) 

So, just to explain why it was a big deal that I was unable to place my pump sites myself; I am now 18 years old (back when I started having trouble, I was 16 years old, but it was much worse this past year and a half) and I am going to be starting university in September. So, I was really stressed out because
A) I couldn't do my sites on my own and I was a 16 year-old girl, and
B) I'm going to a university that's an hour or so drive away from my parents house, and was going to be living in residence on campus (obviously), so my mom couldn't just drive up and do my sites for me, and 

C) I like my independence, so needing someone to put on my sites just got me mad 

So about two months ago, the pediatric nurse found me different sites that I could put in manually and could be certain that they went in. Now I use the Contact Detach sites 6mm with 60cm tubing, and I can honestly say they work a lot better and they're so easy to place! 

It's an actual needle and not a piece of plastic; that's why it's pretty much fool-proof

The packaging they come in 

Anyway, so what I do to try to overcome my depression when it hits me, is basically talking to my close friend that I mentioned earlier, listening to music and write. I write in journals how I'm feeling and what I think brought on these feelings, and eventually try to find a reason to be happy again (even though it's rarely ever a quick rebound to being happy again). Another thing I do is write stories; from fanfiction to original stories, writing is definitely my therapy in more ways than one as well as listening to music. (I actually have a playlist of My Little Pony songs that I listen to when I'm angry/sad/depressed/happy-- I listen to this playlist almost all the time, but it works!)  

My personal journal 

So, basically, if you're feeling down and depressed, the only advice I can really give you is definitely talk about it. Talk to someone you feel comfortable with, someone who will just sit there and listen to you and give you advice or motivation or anything you need to try to feel better again. Also, do something your passionate about! Like, I write when I feel--well, I write all the time to be honest, but when I write, I always put my feelings in my work. I have stories that will (most likely) never be published for the sole reason that they talk about depression and suicide, but in my mind, having a fictional character end their life is a way better alternative to me trying something stupid and doing something that I'll regret. So, like I said, put your feelings into your work! You draw/paint/any other artistic thing? Use that raw emotion and create something beautiful with it! If you're into exercise, keep at it! Just never stop doing what you're passionate about, no matter how down you get, just keep at it; it will help. Trust me. And let me assure you, no matter how bad it seems to get, it will get better! 

- Serena <3 

**Huge shout out to my friend Megin for always being there for me in my darkest hours and for always encouraging me in all my craziness (seriously how do you put up with me?!) and being one of my biggest supporters; it means a lot! <3 

Also, if you're feeling depressed or upset or just need someone to vent out your frustrations to someone, I'm available and check my email several times a day so if you need to talk to someone and want to talk to me, you can reach me at: abithotakugirl@gmail.com or you can also get a hold of me via Tumblr at depressedteendiabetic.tumblr.com and that too I check often and get notifications whenever someone sends me a message or asks me something. Just remember, you are NEVER ALONE and there's always someone who can help.**

My Medic Alert Tattoo

Hey everyone!

So today I want to talk about something very important to me; my Medic Alert Tattoo!

I got it done back in early May (it was a late birthday gift from my parents), and couldn't be happier about it!

My Tattoo

So, I chose the pink starburst because I happen to be a huge My Little Pony fan, and that starburst happens to be Twilight Sparkle's Cutie Mark (my favorite character out of the main cast). I also picked the font used because I felt it fit with the character's personality (plus it's very petty!)

When I got it done, I did one 'bad' thing that I won't do the next time I get a tattoo; right before I sat down to get my ink, I checked my sugar and it was at 4.9 (my meter uses mmol/L to measure my levels), and I was getting a little hungry. (oopsies!) But I went ahead and did it anyway. What I should have done was eat before going to get it done. Because I didn't eat before, (I'm pretty sure that's the reason, but I could be wrong!) the process of getting the tattoo hurt slightly more than (I assume) it would should I have eaten first. 

It's also very important that you keep track/ make sure your blood sugars are good before getting a tattoo because the higher your sugars, the more you risk getting an infection. According to diabetes.co.uk, it is recommended you avoid certain areas such as: 

• Buttocks
• Shins
• Ankles
• Feet
• Common insulin injection sites (i.e: arms, abdomen, thighs)

(they say that only because these places take longer to heal, which could possibly lead to complications like infection)

If you're interested in getting a tattoo (Medic Alert or not) and you have Diabetes, I definitely recommend reading this article here. It's quite helpful if you ask me, plus, I recommend you do some research on the healing process and any other questions you may have. (I  also recommend reading this FAQs about getting a tattoo, as well as these aftercare tips if you are really interested in getting some ink). 

- Serena <3